Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Day Thirty-One

One month of deployment down. Who knows how much longer to go. The sooner the better. For anyone reading this that doesn't know more and thinks "one month is nothing," my husband deployed before it was put out that their whole company would be going on the big one year deployment in February, and now he will be coming home soon to start training up for that one. So yea, one or so months ain't bad, but it is when you know he'll be turning around and leaving for a long time soon after he gets back.

Anyways, slept much better last night, but still waking up a bit early. I guess it's good that my body has an internal alarm clock, but I wish it would just understand that I have an external one, and I'd prefer it to sleep until that one goes off! lol. I went to sleep to my hypnosis app again last night- it's nice to wake up and try to remember the last thing I heard from it to see how long it takes me to fall asleep. Some nights I'm really quick, but I fall asleep before the end every night either way which is great. So, I finally got up and got Hayden up. Brayden, once again, had lazy bones so stayed in bed. I made Hayden his breakfast, got his toothbrush and clothes ready, and packed up his backpack before moving on to getting myself ready. At some point Brayden woke up on his own and came downstairs to join us. He picked out his clothes from the pile of laundry I had left on the couch from last night =P We got all ready and got Hayden off to school.

Brayden and I came back home and ate some breakfast and then just sat on the couch and looked at some books. We were both still extremely exhausted, so we headed back upstairs to bed. It was nice to get to go back to sleep. After our nap, we got up and ate some lunch and just lazed around some more. I put on Cars for him and got to a little bit of cleaning. It's so frustrating how cleaning is just an endless cycle, especially with kids. I wish things would just stay clean, or at least walk themselves back to where they belong. A girl can dream, right? So it was pretty close to time to pick Hayden up so we got ready and headed out the door. We had a few minutes so I let Brayden play in the car and listen to Veggie Tales. Someone please send me a new Veggie Tales CD! We went on down to wait for Hayden and sat down. I really need a new winter jacket. I can no longer zip mine up. I can snap it shut, but only if I suck in, but it usually ends up popping open anyways lol. Not cool, and not warm either =( Hayden got out and we headed home. The kids watched a little bit of Cars, but then I turned it off and made them play with something, anything else. They're pretty good at that. It's kind of nice having two boys because they have similar personalities and play the same things, so they play well together. I try to imagine having 2 girls, and I really can't, so once again if this is a girl, we will probably be happy and stop. The boys might be loud and rowdy, but I'm ok with that. After years of being a mom, you really do learn to just tune stuff out. If I couldn't do that, I may have just gone crazy a while ago.

I decided to tackle the dishes that I've been letting pile up. It's only the big ones that can't fit into my dishwasher. I have no joy in washing dishes, so I procrastinate on the big ones that I actually have to put effort into. Sometimes I think they will just go away on their own. Other times I try to think of how much I could pay someone to come once or twice a week to take care of them lol. Once I finally got into it, though, it was pretty quick and easy. Now I've got an empty sink, just waiting to be filled again. I've gotten really good at not letting any of the dishwasher dishes go in the sink at all, though. It really helps out to just rinse and put it in, no matter how daunting it seems at the time =P. I feel like when Denton is gone a lot of pressure is off, and it seems like I would slack more because of it, but I really just get better at doing things, and learn how to manage my time better. By then end of his next deployment, I should be a domestic queen or something! lol. Eh. And, in case you were wondering, gone are the days of me feeling bad for myself for having such responsibilities and feelings at such a young age and wishing I was one of my friends from high school childless and working or something like a free bird. I'm happy with my marriage and my kids, and especially happy knowing that by the time my kids are grown, I will still be young and can then finally be a free bird, but by then I'll be a more responsible free bird =P.

Once I was done I went ahead and started dinner. Simple but healthy and yummy, but it was going to take a while so I did a bit more cleaning and got the kids involved as well. I figure it's about time for them to start doing more chores, and Hayden really is so good about helping because he has sympathy for me being pregnant and in pain a lot of the time and still having to do all that stuff. I love having such a mature, caring 6 year old. After we were done dinner was ready and we sat down to eat. The kids didn't really eat so much, but that was ok. I only emphasize that mealtime is for eating as much as you feel like, not that one must clean their plate. I was taught to clean my plate growing up, and I see where that got most of my family, so I'm trying my best to pretty much do the opposite of what I was taught for the sake of my kids lol. As I finished up dinner (always takes a mom longer because she has to continuously stop and get stuff for the kids), I had Hayden take a spelling test to prepare for his test in school tomorrow. It's not his best week of words, but he's doing great with me so far- 13 out of 15. Hopefully he can remember what we went over tomorrow! Once I finished I cleaned up all our plates and put the rest of dinner away. We then went to the couch to do his reading for the night where Brayden proceeded to fall asleep. Hayden finished up and I started on this. Denton called and we went over a few things and of course Hayden passed out on the couch where I told him not to. Once he falls asleep at night it is hard to get him up to get upstairs to bed. I've never seen someone so entirely incoherent as this child, so it's a fight to get him up, up the stairs, and on the right side of the bed lol, but it's precisely what I'll be doing as soon as I close this out. I do in fact have 1 meeting to go to tomorrow, so I can't be entirely lazy, but I know I'll be trying to get some rest in there somewhere. I really don't know why I'm so much more tired this pregnancy than my last 2. Maybe I'm busier? I don't know, I was in my whole junior year of high school with Hayden, and I was pretty busy. Maybe because I'm running after 2 kids now and doing so much stuff? Or maybe this baby is going to keep me up a lot? I really hope not. I've had really good babies, and co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and attachment parenting overall really makes it sooo much easier. However, whatever the reason, I have embraced my daily naps and no longer feel bad or ashamed about it. I have learned that listening to my body is the best thing I can do, and it is telling me to rest for some reason, so rest I must do, and I will go do some more now. =)

Goodnight.

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